What makes a real writer?

A while ago, one of the literary agents that I stalk follow via blogging posted a link to a video of an author talking about the creative process. In this video, the author discussed the whole idea of a "tortured" artist and stuff. She talked a little about writer's block and agonizing over the correct word choice.

So here's my question: am I less of a writer than the next person for NOT having these issues? When I was younger and in the throes of depression/bipolar disorder, I'd say that I was a tortured writer (or as much of a tortured writer that a thirteen-year-old can be), but definitely not anymore. I feel like the words just flow right out of me when I start writing. I don't center myself before writing, I don't lock myself in my room, I don't do anything that "typical" writers do. No Jack Torrance here, thank you very much! I don't scribble notes on my hand like some of my friends do and I most certainly don't stick with one project for two years. Instead, I put my iPod on shuffle (or in some cases, tune out the ramblings of my Art History teacher), open my notebook and just start writing. If I find myself unable to work on a project for long periods of time, I leave the project alone. I know that there's no point in beating a dead horse and that, when the time is right, that story will come to me perfectly. There's one story in particular that has been bouncing around in my head for the past six years OF MY LIFE and just now has it found a home in THE CAROLINE AFFAIR. Over the course of those six years, I would sit down and try to write the story every which way, each time failing miserably. When I realized it wasn't working, I left the story alone and moved onto a new one. That's not to say, of course, that I drop a project the moment the writing gets tough; I know when to keep at it and when to stop.

Is it just the narrative style that I use? Is it because I'm not trying to write "literary fiction"? Is it because I generally have a general sense of where I want the story to go? Does my lack of writing angst yield a less than amazing story? I don't know. All I do know is that I like writing the way I do. Even though I am diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder, I do try and keep things upbeat. I hate being miserable and I know I'm a much more pleasant person when I'm not stuck up on the little things. I don't want to become a tortured writer, even if it does result in more successful novels. I think I write better when I'm writing in class, oddly enough. Not that it's doing wonders for my grades or anything, but still. :)

So for one of my classes (Digital Apparel & Design), I need to design and illustrate an outfit using pen & paper, adobe illustrator and adobe photoshop. Well, me being the multi-tasker/opportunist that I am, I decided to turn my project into a drawing for TAC (not TCA- at the moment I still have not thought of a better title, just because the title is really charming and really conveys the mood that I want the project to!). It was really kind of difficult to create the drawing because I'm working with a range of heights and I have the tendency to not draw feet, just because that's how it ends up. I plan on drawing feet, but somehow the feet always manage to extend past the canvas I'm working on. YES, I KNOW THIS IS WHY YOU PLAN AHEAD, LEAVE ME ALONE.

Anyway, I was planning on commissioning Noni, the gal who did an AMAZING drawing of two of my characters in THE CAROLINE AFFAIR saga, Eclair and Sarah. Observe:




But in the end, because I'm currently on the lower end of poor (I just had to make a big deposit which maxed out my card and depleted my funds :( ... ), I decided to just go ahead and attempt to draw myself.

The drawing is of the three main characters, Campbell, Bridgette and Fallon. By the way, if I start referring to a "Brozica" that would be Campbell. Brozica Zoroknikova :) It's just kind of awesome, that's all. What should be a really ugly name is, I think, actually pretty in a way. Anyway, Campbell is 6 ft, Bridgette is 5'7" and Fallon is about 4'10", which made fitting them all onto the page and making it look balanced really difficult, especially with my limited drawing abilities.In the end, though, I do think it came out okay. Campbell looks fierce and like she's ready for war (ironic) while Bridgette and Fallon look on adoringly. When it's finished I'll make sure to post it.

In other news, apparently the fanfiction I wrote because I was bored at work and inspired has been well-received. That's good, I guess. Maybe if I build up enough of a fanbase for fanfiction, if/when I get published I'll already have a few fans? Who knows.

Typing versus pens

I just counted (meaning the computer counted)- I've typed 6203 words for TAC. Wait. I just realized. TCA and TAC. I think I need to come up with a new name for TAC :D

But anyway, 6203 typed words versus about 60 pages handwritten. Supposing I fit 250 words per page, that's about 15,000 words that I've handwritten.

For some reason, I've only been able to handwrite this latest project. Whenever I try to sit down and type TAC, I can't. On the other hand whenever I tried to handwrite TCA, it was an epic failure.

All this does is make me wonder how many authors actually type their first drafts or write them by hand or if most people do a mix or what.

Query Updates!

So I've gotten a few more rejections.

I've heard things like "It sounds smart and intriguing, but isn't really for me" and "Love the enchanting story but the narrative style didn't really work for me." Not terribly upset.

At home this week, Mom kept bringing up my novel. Apparently she thought I'd tried querying a while back about something I wrote so she was like "IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS TIME! THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR NOVEL THIS TIME!" and I was just kind of like "Um... what? What in God's name are you talking about?" I just felt like she was beating a dead horse because I thought I was clearly giving off "I don't really want to talk about my novel because I'll jinx my already slim chances"-vibes, but I guess not.

This sweet little old nun was too funny when she heard about THE CAROLINE AFFAIR though- I just said that I was in the process of querying and a few people had requested material and stuff and, again, she's this little tiny nun who's probably 60 years old and she was like "Maybe it will be as big as 'Twilight'!" I kind of nearly died laughing once she left.

Falling in love with characters (or why I dislike a certain sparkly vampire)

Actually, the post has nothing to do with "Twilight," I just felt like mentioning it is all.

It does, however, have to do with the characters for my new novel. I'd like to think that even though I love some of my creations, they don't simply become wish fulfillment-author's-darlings (*cough*S!Meyer*cough*). I like to think that I make my characters realistic without being overly dramatic or anything.

In my latest creation, there's a FMC, of course. Her name is Bridgette and she's sort of blah, actually. Not that she's uninteresting but aside from her ability, she's just... blah. She makes for an interesting narrator, though, because she's so normal (very unlike Caroline in her narrative style, in other words). But actually, my favorite character is quickly becoming the best friend.

The best friend's name is Campbell and on the surface she seems like a complete bitch, but she's turning out to be very interesting. She's very particular in the way she thinks and deals with her situations. She's make a really crappy protagonist though because she's too... something or other. She just plain wouldn't make a good narrator, I guess because she's so interesting (complete irony, I do realize). Meanwhile Bridgette, who is really kind of blah, makes the perfect storyteller.

So I guess today's lesson is that no matter how much I might love a character, it doesn't necessarily mean the character deserves his/her own novel :)



(DIDJA HEAD THAT S!MEYER? I'LL REPEAT MYSELF. EVEN THOUGH AN AUTHOR MIGHT LOVE A CERTAIN CHARACTER, IT DOESN'T MEAN S/HE NEEDS HIS/HER OWN NOVEL)

Today's Challenge

Today's challenge is to condense THE CAROLINE AFFAIR into one sentence.

I read Jackson Pierce's blog entry about doing this and took into consideration her tips about it, but I'm still finding it a bit difficult. So far, all I can think of is "A spoiled teen is forced to grow up when she finds herself in a world filled with magic and tragedy."

If anyone has a better suggestion, feel free :)

I am kind of concerned for my reading health. See, I've decided to read at least one book from each agency that I query, regardless of what the response is. I figure that's a pretty good idea, right? The problem is that I'm never in the mood to read any of these new books that I buy. Instead, I keep finding myself drawn to paperback romance novels lately. For example, I've been working on Seeing Redd (which actually isn't represented by any agency I queried, I think) since about Christmas and I can't seem to finish it. And I've been looking forward to reading it for a while. I've been working on some other books for a while as well, but for some reason I can't break away from my latest Cassie Edwards acquisition.

I've also picked up a slew of new books too, including Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris. That's a paperback novel so I figured maybe I might be more drawn to it (crazy, I know). Nope. I read the first page and immediately put it down and went back to reading about Wind Walker and Maggie's fantastically cliched romance.

In other news... not much has been happening. I've been working on my sci-fi project a bit more. More planning than actual writing though. Oh well! Hopefully I'll get some news in the mail tomorrow.